Solitude

I've always wondered what the joy was in eating alone. I try to never eat alone if I can help it. Even in uni, when lunch time comes I always drag a victim to eat with, willing or unwilling. There's an episode in 'Friends' where Rachel eats alone and discovers the joy of spending time with herself but then this cute guy she's interested in thinks she's a loser for eating alone.

Is it just eating alone or does it apply to everything we do? I never liked doing anything alone until the time came when I didn't have a choice. Over time, my friends and I went on different paths and now I find myself without a partner in crime. I've taken to shopping alone and sometimes eating alone. In fact, I do everything by myself! I didn't like it at first and I still don't enjoy it per se but there IS a feeling of......well, it's a pleasant feeling.

I don't know if it's because I surrounded by people everyday so I relish the time I have by myself. But lately, I find myself enjoying the solitude more and more. When shopping, I like the fact that I can just dart in and out of shops at will without having to yell at someone to stop and change course. There's no pressure to make small talk when you're feeling tired. I also like the silence when there's no one talking nonsense to you when you just want to relax and daydream.

However, on the down side, it's is boring not having someone by your side while you poke fun at the latest fashion or while you cringe at the multi-colored hair of the punk teen skating by. During lunch, there's no one to make silly jokes with or just chat nonsense with.

Although I sometimes dread it, I have learned to embrace the solitude and hope my newfound enjoyment of it does not mean I'm on my way to being a hermit.